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Henry Golub ’18 - Somebody Stop This Man: The Return You know that feeling of regret you get when you haven’t shaved in a while and you run into the girl you like and she sees your dark, fuzzy, sorry excuse for a mustache? That’s how I imagine Senior Columnist Charlie Christoffersen ’18 must feel every time he sees an article of his printed in The Lawrence. At least he ...

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October 27, 2017

The following is a transcription of a lecture given at The New York Public Library on October 19, 2017. Thank you for having me. My name isn’t Betsy [clears throat]. The Articles of Confederation state that America has divine sanction to control Canada. Though America’s greatest men wrote this foundational text over 15 years ago, we find that the Articles remain relevant in today’s significantly changed world. But how did we ...

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October 06, 2017

The facts. The laughs. The pretty women. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, welcome to Exhibit Number One: Pretzel Logic. Following the prolonged monsoon season of 1977, I at last managed my return to the United States from an odyssey abroad. Overseas, I met many people and learned much of their wisdom. I traveled first with disoriented Mormon missionaries across the Sahara to Cairo. ...

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May 05, 2017

Boys Cross Country Coach Edward Poreda H’70 passed away this past Monday at 90 years of age. Known by his runners as “Coachie,” Poreda nurtured hundreds of Lawrentian athletes over a career spanning 63 years. Under his leadership, Lawrenceville’s cross country and track teams had over 850 wins and won 60 New Jersey Independent School Athletic Association (NJISAA) State Championships. In 25 of his 143 seasons, Coachie’s teams were undefeated. Even ...

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February 17, 2017

On the Ides of March of 44 BCE, Julius Caesar strolled casually before the Roman Senate. Things had been going quite smoothly for the so-recently declared dictator—he had kick-started France’s habit of getting conquered, had vanquished his bigliest political rivals, and had even named a salad after himself. Twenty-three stab wounds later, though, Caesar realized he had goofed big time. Despite his superficial glamour, the Dictator had actually alienated the people ...

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January 13, 2017

When I joined The Lawrence’s investigative journalism team in the early ’90s, I was young and optimistic. The newly invented internet promised great things for the newspaper industry, and I was excited to reach new readers. After years of watching my colleagues resort to cannibalism clickbaiting, however, I realized how misled I had been. What I and others mistook for rejuvenating lotion was actually just discount canola oil. I saw facts ...

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November 04, 2016

On a cold Monday morning at a school not far from ours, a ring of downcast students sat huddled around a calendar. The room in which they sat was gray and windowless, and, save for a blue poster with the writing, “Hill: It’s All Downhill from Here,” was empty of furnishings. Weekly scheduling was normally the highlight of a Hill student’s dull routine—Hillbillies love planning ways to waste time—but on this ...

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October 21, 2016

Today we will engage with one of the year’s most controversial topics, a topic with roots in the discovery of yeast and the gradual development of Swiss neutrality. The discourse that follows might frustrate, even frighten some. I can only ask that the reader keep an open mind: The following represents the consensus views of Henry Golub, vol. XVIII First baked in 17th-century Poland ...

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September 30, 2016

Back in 2010, when I saw Lawrenceville for the first time, I marveled at the beauty of its campus. Large trees, a picturesque math building, and fields of various moon phase shapes filled my eyes with wonder. As I strolled down the meandering walkways, my entire conception of what high school could be changed dramatically. This prep school looked like PCA from Zoey 101 – with a Big Red rash ...

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May 06, 2016

Welcome back to another installment of “Cool People of Lawrenceville.” Today we will examine the most sophisticated of the bunch: wok people. Informally known as “bok boys” (it’s a play on bok choy), wok people distinguish themselves from grilled-cheese people, soup people, and bird-embryo people by their apparent ability to cook. However, do not let this positive quality deceive you—wok people are haughty pretenders that can and will waste your time. There ...

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April 23, 2016

It’s the thing that makes you say, “Yeah baby. This atmosphere is nice.” It’s the thing that distinguishes Earth from Pluto. Perhaps most importantly, though, all the kids these days are huffing it and all their mothers do not seem to mind. I am talking, of course, about gaseous oxygen. Most people with lungs can attest to oxygen’s importance; we cannot seem to get enough of it. It is the ...

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April 08, 2016

Elite, exclusive, and exquisite are just a few of the terms that come to mind when someone mentions the words “tri-House athlete.” Before today, these demigods of athletic prowess, so-called “tri-Housers,” have lived quietly amongst a sea of lay people staying out of the spotlight. In an exclusive interview, Charlie Christoffersen ’18 agreed to sit down with The Lawrence for an inside look into the life and mind of the ...

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April 01, 2016

This past Wednesday, Lawrenceville hosted the Regional Chemistry Olympiad Exam. Some of the School’s most enthusiastic chemistry students, Teddy Masterson ’19, Yash Tanga ’18, Cindy Jin ’17, Cynthia Chen ’17, Emily Vandenberg ’17, Helena Thomas ’17, Matt Rednor ’17, and Panos Vandris ’17 all took the exam in the Kirby Math and Science Building that night. The American Chemical Society (ACS), the exam’s patron, says, “The purpose of the competition ...

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February 05, 2016

FRIDAY—Honors Environmental Science students toured the PSE&G Mercer Generating Station (MGS), led by Science Masters James Jordan H’47, John Clark, and John Madden. The trip supplements the course’s winter curriculum which, according to Clark, focuses on “energy, energy efficiency, fossil fuels, and alternatives to fossil fuels.” The class prepared for the trip by exploring Lawrenceville’s boiler room, where they observed how steam is generated in order to heat the School’s ...

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January 29, 2016

Every Thursday immediately after School Meeting, History Master Kristina Schulte P’15 and the 13 seniors in her Interdisciplinary course, Poverty in the Developing World,  travel to the International Charter School of Trenton (ICST) to spend an hour helping third and fourth graders complete their schoolwork. The two-term class focuses on the causes and effects of poverty and the pros and cons of various methods of aid. The weekly trips ...